I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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