the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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