Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
