My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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