I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
