Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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