My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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