I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
