with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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