someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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