Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
