There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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