It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
