Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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