Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
