I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
