just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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