ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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