HIV tests are more positive than that guy
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
