apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
