All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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