does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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