If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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