Don't you send me to vm
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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