so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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