So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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