I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I think your dad took our porno
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
