I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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