i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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