hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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