Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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