their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
