i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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