Texts From Last Night

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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up

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  (413): so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up http://tfl.nu/rtem
  Replies (23) Good night (3733) Bad night (606)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.

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  (270): I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you. http://tfl.nu/x17f
  Replies (7) Good night (2288) Bad night (792)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure

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  (775): i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure http://tfl.nu/ggme
  Replies (19) Good night (1377) Bad night (1957)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...

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  (817): I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working... http://tfl.nu/rly7
  Replies (20) Good night (1222) Bad night (3394)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song

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  (804): i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song http://tfl.nu/watz
  Replies (29) Good night (4139) Bad night (1328)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  Either way, he made a blog for his cat.

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  (870): Either way, he made a blog for his cat. http://tfl.nu/y9xq
  Replies (4) Good night (1334) Bad night (3489)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.

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  (706): He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout. http://tfl.nu/uk8o
  Replies (4) Good night (3659) Bad night (824)
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  (818): View more from California

  Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me

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  (818): Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me http://tfl.nu/ulvi
  Replies (5) Good night (848) Bad night (1670)
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  (44): View more from United Kingdom

  I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.

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  (44): I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game. http://tfl.nu/cpwc
  Replies (2) Good night (1434) Bad night (559)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight

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  (847): Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight http://tfl.nu/9jn8
  Replies (2) Good night (1984) Bad night (652)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.

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  (541): We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash. http://tfl.nu/8hyq
  Replies (1) Good night (839) Bad night (519)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.

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  (850): For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot. http://tfl.nu/k004
  Replies (3) Good night (885) Bad night (307)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor

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  (705): Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor http://tfl.nu/ic3x
  Replies (3) Good night (443) Bad night (946)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.

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  (207): So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex. http://tfl.nu/btn2
  Replies (7) Good night (1103) Bad night (328)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here

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  (406): this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here http://tfl.nu/accs
  Replies (5) Good night (459) Bad night (699)

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