Texts From Last Night

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  (518): View more from New York

  Only a mothe r could love this liver

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  (518): Only a mothe r could love this liver http://tfl.nu/k0p5
  Replies (4) Good night (2448) Bad night (718)
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  (559): View more from California

  yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate

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  (559): yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate http://tfl.nu/yink
  Replies (8) Good night (2142) Bad night (687)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them

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  (770): I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them http://tfl.nu/31n4
  Replies (25) Good night (790) Bad night (4615)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  isnt it creepy that our bodies make people

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  (860): isnt it creepy that our bodies make people http://tfl.nu/vg9u
  Replies (98) Good night (6190) Bad night (1047)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.

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  (770): I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected. http://tfl.nu/i708
  Replies (17) Good night (5136) Bad night (1148)
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  (562): View more from California

  I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.

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  (562): I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die. http://tfl.nu/mr7u
  Replies (6) Good night (2858) Bad night (1261)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.

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  (248): He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that. http://tfl.nu/b2kf
  Replies (5) Good night (2406) Bad night (993)
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.

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  (606): only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding. http://tfl.nu/lmd6
  Replies (29) Good night (1975) Bad night (1862)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.

  (231): View more from Michigan

  The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter

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  (231): I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck. (231): The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter http://tfl.nu/we4f
  Replies (10) Good night (654) Bad night (1873)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.

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  (610): You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me. http://tfl.nu/fg9o
  Replies (1) Good night (1250) Bad night (489)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?

  (1-859): View more from Kentucky

  It's after 5, it's not day drinking.

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  (859): Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester? (1-859): It's after 5, it's not day drinking. http://tfl.nu/fzca
  Replies (12) Good night (1565) Bad night (585)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I need to hump something and I know u understand.

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  (843): I need to hump something and I know u understand. http://tfl.nu/eg48
  Replies (3) Good night (1272) Bad night (577)
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  (760): View more from California

  EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.

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  (760): EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney. http://tfl.nu/xmac
  Replies (5) Good night (560) Bad night (441)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.

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  (501): I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest. http://tfl.nu/ic86
  Replies (2) Good night (639) Bad night (337)
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  (516): View more from New York

  I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.

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  (516): I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this. http://tfl.nu/0s3c
  Replies (0) Good night (442) Bad night (357)

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