Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.