Texts From Last Night

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  (845): View more from New York

  I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?

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  (845): I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back? http://tfl.nu/r4ga
  Replies (4) Good night (1312) Bad night (449)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler

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  (417): oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler http://tfl.nu/3vc3
  Replies (36) Good night (524) Bad night (4948)
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  (315): View more from New York

  Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.

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  (315): Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever. http://tfl.nu/us8u
  Replies (26) Good night (768) Bad night (4978)
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  (760): View more from California

  What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?

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  (760): What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch? http://tfl.nu/c2lm
  Replies (30) Good night (5301) Bad night (706)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.

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  (570): i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight. http://tfl.nu/4ka1
  Replies (120) Good night (1140) Bad night (4411)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year

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  (412): Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year http://tfl.nu/b3y5
  Replies (14) Good night (1160) Bad night (4690)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.

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  (850): We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself. http://tfl.nu/yba7
  Replies (3) Good night (2516) Bad night (692)
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...

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  (971): We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable... http://tfl.nu/8m1y
  Replies (12) Good night (3022) Bad night (1130)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.

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  (469): On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses. http://tfl.nu/77vq
  Replies (1) Good night (2373) Bad night (784)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.

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  (312): It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over. http://tfl.nu/eihc
  Replies (3) Good night (820) Bad night (297)
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  (863): View more from Florida

  Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.

  (813): View more from Florida

  You always make things weird.

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  (863): Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower. (813): You always make things weird. http://tfl.nu/1vvg
  Replies (7) Good night (1001) Bad night (265)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.

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  (860): Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on. http://tfl.nu/xowf
  Replies (9) Good night (781) Bad night (227)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise

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  (253): I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise http://tfl.nu/l8ok
  Replies (4) Good night (553) Bad night (240)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.

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  (513): I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem. http://tfl.nu/08nw
  Replies (3) Good night (318) Bad night (503)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.

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  (202): Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date. http://tfl.nu/o77i
  Replies (9) Good night (195) Bad night (1002)

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