Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.