At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed