so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
