I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
