I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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