so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I believe in your delicious
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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