i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize