last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
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Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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