She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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