I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I skipped work to stalk him.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
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