As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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