How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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