I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize