dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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