i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
It's not a walk of shame if you run
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
