carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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