I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
