So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
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Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
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Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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