If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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