What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
