Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Randomize