I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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