I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
