I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
