Where did you get a picture of my penis
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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