i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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