How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
