Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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