By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
it's like iHOP with fire
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
We left the knife in your bed.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
