I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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