3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
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and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
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too bad burritos don't cuddle back
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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