are you still at the devil's house?
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I need moral support for this bender
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
