the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
